Filed under: Silly

50th Birthday Extravaganza Packing List 2014

We fly out from JFK at 5:40 AM on Saturday March 8th. And yes, the packing has already started. I’m at the making a list and checking it twice stage, but the day draws near!

I usually post my packing list before a Negril trip anyway, but this time it may actually be helpful to the newbees on trip number one.

Packing List – 50th Birthday Extravaganza – March 2014

– 2 pair – Swim Trunks (I may need to upgrade mine to something more stylish.) 
– 3 pairs – Shorts
– 1 pair – Gym Shorts
– 16 Assorted T-Shirts (Plan on two a day. I’m in country 8 days. It’s hot and t-shirts don’t take up much space.)
– 4 Hawaiian/Nice Shirts (Basically non t-shirt shirts. I don’t bring anything actually dressy.)
– 1 pair – Jeans (I wear them on the flight, so this isn’t technically a packing item.)
– 2 pairs – Socks
– 12 pairs – Boxers
– Flip Flops
– Running Shoes (LOL, as if I’ll be running. I wear these also . . .)  
– Hoodie
– 1 Hat – (Down from two, I’m in no mood to wear an Eagles hat . . .)
– Laundry Bag

Health & First-Aid
– Prescriptions
– First-Aid Kit (Simple, Band Aids, alcohol wipes, tweezers)
– Neosporin
– Sun Block 50 SPF – Spray on (Up from 30 because my sister Theresa nags me if I buy any less.)
– Chapstick
– Bug Repellent (Get the good stuff with at least 40% Deet. Jamaica skeeters ain’t no joke)
– Pepto Bismol (Tablets Individual Packets)
– Excedrin Extra Strength (Great for hangovers! Individual packets also)
– Vitamins
– Wet-Ones (This is my secret weapon, put them in the fridge as a quick cool-off remedy. Try it and you will thank me.)
– Misc over-the-counter drug packets. ( Dayquil, Imodium, Benedryl)

Mind and Body
– My Jamaica Journal – It’s a leather-bound journal Kristine got me years ago that I only use in Jamaica.
– Meditation Stuff – Buddha, candle, incense, cushion.
– Books – When I read actual books, I would leave one on the shelf in my room like a long-term lending library, but since I’m all Kindle and Audible now, I bring a completed book and leave it. This trip’s selection is “The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are” by Alan Watts.

My Reading List
– “The Heart Of Being” by John Daido Loori (Re-reading)
– “Midnight’s Children” by Salman Rushdie
– “Wyoming” by Iris Cushing

Toiletries & Shaving Supplies
– Toothbrush
– Toothpaste
– Floss
– Mouth Wash
– Shampoo
– Edwin Jagger 89BL Double-Edged Safety Razor
– Shaving Brush and Stand
– Assorted Shave Creams and Soaps
– Proraso After Shave Balm
– Alum Block
– Moisturizer
– Hair Brush
– Deodorant
– Nail Clippers
– Washcloth

Travel Supplies
– Passport
– Cash – a few hundred in 20’s, and $50 in singles for tipping
– ID, ATM Card, Credit Card
– Travel Wallet
– Plane Tickets
– Printed Hotel Reservations
– Pens (For the customs forms on the plane. Be a hero because no one on the plane has a damn pen)

Other Stuff
– iPhone – Camera, Camcorder and about a hundred other things . . .
– Netbook (I always say this, but this trip I plan to post a lot on various social media and on this blog)
– Flashlight
– Rain Poncho (I always bring, though I have never used)
– Travel Clock
– Sunglasses
– Breath Freshening Gum
(Keep in checked baggage only)
– Disposable Lighters
– Mini Leatherman
– Pocket Knife
– Waterproof Matches

Ok, folks see you in Negril!

Vinny (~~)

Leave a Comment February 5, 2014

50th Birthday Extravaganza – Post #1

The day is drawing near. The official countdown widget has been created. The plane tickets have been purchased, and the hotel has been booked. All we need to do now is Pack & Go!

What am I talking about? Just the biggest most extra extravagant extravaganza in the history of Negril!

Vinny’s 50th Birthday Extravaganza
at the beautiful and famous Blue Cave Castle in sunny Negril, Jamaica!!

March 10th, 2014

The Blue Cave Castle Negril, Jamaica - Pic by Christine Joseph

The Blue Cave Castle Negril, Jamaica – Pic by Christine Joseph

Who’s all coming? Me. The Kid and Kevin. Mom & Dad. Betty Boop. My Brother Michael, his wife Amrita and the kiddos. The Lerches. Kaptain Kramer. The Eardley’s. A bunch of people from Chicago, and many others. The Castle is full, but there are sill rooms nearby.

More to come as the details take shape . . .

(~~) Vinny

Leave a Comment December 5, 2013

Packing Slip for the End of the World . . .

How can I honor the last days of the Mayan long-count calendar? How about with a Packing List?

Packing List – December 2012

Clothes (Unless you’re going to Hedonism)
Ok, the Hedo joke rings a bit stale. Especially after that time me and . . . Umm, nevermind, I promised never to tell that story.
– 1 pair – Swim Trunks – Down from two, I almost never swim, and I hate getting salt water in my beer.
– 3 pairs – Cargo Shorts
– 1 pair – Gym Shorts – Down from three. Gym? Really? As if . . .
– 14 Assorted T-Shirts – Up from ten. I noticed the only one that has been with me since 2002 is my Sponge Bob shirt. A classic is always a classic.
– 3 Hawaiian Shirts – I’m realizing these are like my Jamaican uniform. Hmmm, might be time to reconsider.
– 1 pair – Jeans
– 2 pairs – Socks
– 12 pairs – Underwear
– Flip Flops
– Running Shoes (LOL, as if I’ll be running) – Ditto
– Light Jacket/Windbreaker – Hoodie (2012 update)
– 1 Hat – Down from two, I ain’t wearing that Eagles hat anywhere . . .
– Laundry Bag – I still think this is a great idea.

Health & First-Aid
– Prescriptions – These weren’t part of my 2005 world.
– First-Aid Kit (Simple, Band Aids, alcohol wipes, tweezers)
– Neosporin (For creepy crawly bites)
– Sun Block 50 SPF – Up from 15 because my sister nags me.
– Sun Block Stick 70 SPF (For my nose) – Up from 30 because I’d rather not get burned, I only blame my sister so as not to diminish my perceived machismo.
– Chapstick
– Bug Repellent – I went all natural organic friendly this time, we’ll see how it works. Stay tuned . . .
– Pepto Bismol (Individual serving packets, helps w/ humidity)
– Excedrin Extra Strength (Great for hangovers! Individual packets also)– This gets more and more vital with each trip. . .
– Vitamins (Which I buy in single serve packages anyway)
– Hand Sanitizer (Good when hand washing doesn’t permit itself)– Confession: I carry this stuff but I never use it . . .
– Wet-Ones (I put them in the fridge, Woo Hoo! Instant cooling!) – This is like my secret weapon. Go ahead and scoff. Try it and you will thank me.
– Condoms – And no, they are not the same ones since 2002 . . .

Mind and Body
– My Jamaica Journal – It’s a leather-bound journal Kristine got me a few years ago that I only use in Jamaica. – This is still with me, still not full. I haven’t used it on the last few trips. It’s become such an heirloom I’m afraid to lose it, but since it’s the “End of the World” trip, what the hey.
– Meditation travel stuff – Buddha, candle, incense, zafu.
– Books – Books? What’s a book? I used to enjoy leaving my book on the shelf in my room for the next inhabitant, but on my last few trips I’ve embraced my Kindle.
This trip I’m packing a pre-read book to leave on the shelf. So if the world doesn’t actually end subsequent Deluxe One Blue Cave Castle stayers can enjoy Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

– Christmas Lights – Two boxes to decorate my space at The Castle! I like to refer to them as Holiday Enlightenments . . .

Kindle – Reading List:

A Universe from Nothing: Why There is Something Rather Than Nothing by Lawrence Krauss

The Black Count: Glory, Revolution, Betrayal, and the Real Count of Monte Cristo by Tom Reiss

Jackpot: High Times, High Seas, and the Sting That Launched the War on Drugs by Jason Ryan

Other Stuff
– iPhone – Camera, Camcorder and about a hundred other things . . .
– AAA Batteries – Energizer Max – 8 Pack
– Netbook (I plan to blog this trip daily!)– I always promise to blog daily, but I get all flubunged . . .
– Flashlight (De power go black a lot)
– Rain Poncho (for those afternoon storms)
– Disposable Lighters (Keep in checked baggage)
– Leatherman
– Pocket Knife
– Waterproof Matches
– Travel Clock
– Sunglasses
– Reading Glasses – Ouch :)
– Breath Freshening Gum (Red Stripe and Jerk Chicken are great, but . . .)
– LifeStraw – This is a personal water purifier a friend bought me for Xmas. I wasn’t gonna bring it, but it is the “End of the World” trip :)

(This is the boring part)
– Toothbrush
– Toothpaste
– Floss
– Mouth Wash
– Shampoo
– Disposable Razors
– Shave Cream
– Moisturizer
– Hair Brush
– Hand Lotion (Udder Cream is my fave)
– Deodorant
– Nail Clippers
– Towels – Washcloth

Travel Supplies
– Passport
– Money some 20?s, and $50 in singles for tipping
– ID, ATM Card, Credit Card
– Travel Wallet
– Plane Tickets
– Printed Hotel Reservations
– Pens (For the customs forms on the plane. I’ll be a hero because no one has a damn pen)

OK Mayans, the time has come. Now it’s put up or shut up!

Vinny (~~)

Leave a Comment December 11, 2012

Is this East Village artist a threat to the sanctity of the MTA’s intellectual property?

Is this East Village artist a threat to the sanctity of the MTA’s intellectual property?.

Leave a Comment April 8, 2011

No one knows how it started ?

Leave a Comment April 30, 2009

Packing Time – 28 Days Out!

At 30 days out from a Jamaica trip I usually begin to stress about packing, rounding up all the supplies, and trying to remember all the things I forgot last time. 

Well, this time I’m not stressed at all. Here is it 28 days, 14 hours and 45 minutes from wheels up and I’m completly confident in my packing and organization. I’d like to think I’m maturing, or that I’m learning from my past. But no, I just never unpacked from my last trip!

Don’t get me wrong, I unloaded the stinky clothes, and aired out my big rolling duffel bag, but afterwards I just dumped most of the stuff back in. Then when I moved to Brooklyn I threw more crap in it, and rolled it away in a rented storage space several blocks away. I’ll go get it this weekend and double check it against my list.

Yes! The List! I know how you all look forward to my Packing List, so without further ado: Here it is!

The Packing List – October 2007 Trip with Dad 

Clothes (This is a two week trip, but I’m planning to get some wash done)

  • 2 pairs – Swim Trunks (I plan to do more swimming this trip)  
  • 3 pairs ea Cargo Shorts (Somehow all my shorts have leg pockets these days)
  • 3 pairs ea Gym Shorts
  • 12 Assorted T-Shirts (I just blow through shirts and I usually bring a few silly ones like my Spongebob shirt that seem cool when I’m packing, but would make me look like a moron if I actually wore them in public)
  • 6 Hawaiian Shirts (I deleted the golf shirts this trip, I think I look cool in Hawaiian Casual) 
  • 1 pair ea Jeans
  • 1 pair ea Socks (This was 5 last time, what was I thinking?)
  • 12 pairs ea Underwear
  • 1 pair – Silk Boxers (Just in case)
  • Sandals
  • Flip Flops
  • Running Shoes (As if?)
  • Fleece Jacket (For to and from)
  • 2 Ball Caps (Eagles and Phillies, though with the way the Birds are playing I may opt for an “I <3 NY” hat instead!)
  • A Collapsible Duffel Bag (The last few trips I used this for dirty clothes and stuffed my suitcase with souvenirs)

Health & First-Aid

  • First-Aid Kit (Simple, Band Aids, alcohol wipes, tweezers)
  • Benadryl Itch Stick (For creepy crawly bites – I recommend it highly)
  • Aloe Vera Lotion (Gringo burns)
  • Sun Block 30SPF Spray-On (Spray-On RULES!! Worth the extra $)
  • Sun Block Stick 30SPF (For my nose)
  • Sun Block for Sensitive Skin 45 SPF (For my face, no comments please)
  • Chapstick w/ UV protection
  • Bug Repellant w/ at least 30% Deet (Can’t use wimpy stuff in Jamaica)
  • Pepto Bismol Individual Packs of Caplets (Just in case of Bustamante’s Revenge)
  • Excedrin Extra Strength Individual packets also (Nothing better for a Negril hangover)
  • Vitamins
  • Hand Sanitizer (Sounds a little prissy, huh)
  • Wet-Ones (Put them in the freezer and use them to wipe your face. Woo Hoo! An old restaurant manager’s trick)
  • Condoms (I usually think up a funny comment here, maybe that was a jinx…)


  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Mouth Wash (I usually list floss, but I’m not living that lie anymore! Who flosses on vacation?)
  • Shampoo
  • Gel
  • Disposable Razors (I always bring 4, I know not why)
  • Shaving Cream
  • Moisturizer (Yeah, moisturizer!)
  • Hair Brush
  • Deodorant
  • Cologne (I’m a Polo man)
  • Towels ea Washcloth

Other Stuff

  • Digital Camera
  • Camcorder
  • AAA Batteries ea Energizer Max – 8 Pack
  • Laptop Computer (The Castle has WIFI)
  • DVD€™s 
  • Disposable Flashlight (Rarely needed, but needed when needed)
  • Disposable Rain Ponchos (I’d delete this line, but I still have the same two ponchos I bought 5 years ago)
  • Disposable Lighters
  • Leatherman
  • Travel Clock
  • Cell Phone
  • Sunglasses
  • Breath Freshening Gum (Jerk Chicken is great, but …)
  • Candy for the Kids ea Non-melting, individually packaged, and yummy! (I usually come home with most of it, but I always bring some)

Mind and Body

  • My Jamaica Journal ea It€™s a leather bound journal Kristine got me a few years ago that I only use in Jamaica.
  • My Non-Jamaica Everyday Journal
  • A Good Journal Writing Pen (High quality, low friction. A Fast Pen)
  • Assorted Incense
  • My Travel Buddha
  • My Portable Sitting Cushion
  • Books:

Gone to New York – Adventures In The City by Ian Frazier 
A Collection of Short Stories about NYC.
I thought it would be fun to read about my new home while in Negril.

The Bourne Supremacy – by Robert Ludlum
Working my way through the series backwards, don’t ask.

Zen Buddhism – Selected Writings of D.T. Suzuki
I like to think big thoughts on vacation.
I’ve been wanting to study more classical Zen writing.

Travel Supplies

  • Passport
  • Money some 20’s, and $100 in singles for tipping
  • ID, ATM Card, Credit Card
  • Travel Wallet
  • Plane Tickets
  • Printed Hotel Reservations
  • Pens (Half a dozen pens for immigration and customs forms on the plane. No one ever has a pen, and I like to be the hero)
  • Lonely Planet Guide to Jamaica ’06 Edition
  • Jamaican Road Map (Don’t ask me why. I’m a map guy!)

That’s it for this trip, as always please feel free to comment.

Peace (~~)


27 Comments September 19, 2007

The Jamaican “Leaping” Slug: Myth or Menace?

Deep in the hoary depths of Negril Jamaica, lives a mysterious and fabled creature. A creature that has defied definite detection, yet the locals know well the curious scent and the slimy trail of this jumping Jamaican juggernaut.

Yes, it’s the Jamaican “Leaping” Slug.

The first whispered accounts of this mythic creature date back to the earliest Spanish explorers like Columbus, and Juan Valdez. After the Spanish came the Russians, and then the Crusaders, and finally the Brits. They were all so busy raping the land for the Queen and Country that sightings were relegated to either a lack of sex, or of Vitamin C.

The first substantiated sighting came in 1791 when escaped Irish indentured servant Phinneas McBogan became the first white man to see the, and I quote, “Slimy Leaping Bastard.”

The Jamaican Leaping Slug

McBogan came to Negril fleeing his British oppressors. He befriended a small band of Jamaicans where he shared in their ceremonial mushroom tea. Later that night while wandering along the cliffs he wrote this in his journal:

“I was lying at the base of a fine palm tree. Suddenly the entire jungle began to dance a fecking jig. I had the feeling I was being watched, and then I saw it! From one grand leaf to another I watched this slimy bastard, like a bleedin’ tree frog, leaping with a mighty gusto. Brilliant!”

I came across this amazing account while excavating a humble Irish hovel high in the hills of Donegal, Ireland. You see, McBogan was my Great Great Grandfather’s next door neighbor’s daughter’s schoolmaster’s great great uncle twice removed. I became obsessed.

Many of my colleagues have been searching for more mainstream creatures like The Yeti, Bigfoot and Nessie, but since I was a boy I felt the need to be different. All my friends say I’m quite different, and I relish that clear compliment.

So, after years of careful study, I came to Negril to meet this amazing creature for myself. Limax Negrillius, as it is known to amateur crypto-gastropodologists like me, is not very different from his cousins the Spotted Leopard Slug or the GGGS (Great Grey Garden Slug). The Jamaican “Leaping” Slug is a beautiful grey color and feeds on tiny mites which inhabit banana and pimento leaves. Yes, he is a carnivore!

In my dozen or so trips to Negril, I have seen many beautiful slimy slugs, but the Leaping Slug eludes me. I promise to come back again and again, drink copious amounts of the magical mushroom tea, and I vow not to rest till I find, film and photograph my silent slippery nemesis.

Stay Tuned :)


5 Comments January 29, 2007

All My Bags Are Packed…

All My Bags Are Packed, I’m ready to go
I’m standing here just by de doe (waiting for a cab)
Kris just called me up, to say goodbye.

But the dawn is breakin’ it’s early morn
Leaving Rosie has me emotionally torn
Already I’m so excited, Jah Rastafar – I

So Kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you envy me
Don’t cha wish you were going to Negril

I’m leaving on a jet plane
AJ cancelled my flight again
Oh Babe, Can’t wait to go

There’s so many times I’ve gone to town
All I do is play around
I’ll tell you now, I can’t wait to get some Ting

Every place I go I’ll think of you
Every beer I’ll drink I’ll drink for you
When I get back I’ll bring your Christmas thing

So Kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you envy me
Don’t cha wish you were going to Negril

I’m leaving on a jet plane
Shuttle bus to Newark; A big-ass pain
I wish they would have let me know

I’m leaving on a jet plane
Gonna get really drunk ‘pon de plane

Leaving on a jet plane
My buddy Clive, will pick me up again

Leaving on a jet plane
To stare ‘pon de Caribbean

Peace :)

Leave a Comment December 15, 2006

The P List!

OK, I’m 11 days out!! Woo Hoo!! And it’s become a tradition for me to not only make a packing list, but to post it here for all to see, and in some cases, to ridicule.

The list is thorough, but every time I’ve posted one of these lists someone emails me with some important thing I’m missing. I’ve paired the list down considerably for this trip, less goofy stuff I “thought” was a good idea, but never touched once in Negril.

Anyway here it is, please feel free to cut and paste for your personal use :)


  • 1 pair – Swim Trunks ** Lots of swimming last time, but only used one pair
  • 3 pairs – Shorts
  • 3 pairs – Gym Shorts ** My version of PJs
  • 8 Assorted T-Shirts
  • 3 Polo/Golf Shirts ** I may play a round of golf this trip – all these trips and I never have!
  • 6 Hawaiian Shirts ** I look so good in these
  • 1 pair – Jeans ** Winter travel-wear
  • 1 pair – Socks ** Only on the list for appearances
  • 10 pairs – Underwear ** incl. silk boxers just in case … Well, you know who you are ;)
  • Sandals
  • Flip Flops ** There is a difference between Sandals and Flip Flops, Sandals don’t make noise
  • Running Shoes ** As if I’ll be running :) actually just more winter wear
  • Light Jacket ** I may check this to a heavy sweatshirt pending departure day weather
  • 2 Ball Caps ** Eagles & Phillies – Not that either team deserves it!

Health & First -Aid

  • First-Aid Kit (Simple, Band Aids, alcohol wipes, tweezers)
  • Neosporin (For creepy crawly bites)
  • Sun Block 15 SPF
  • Sun Block Stick 30 SPF (For my nose)
  • Bug Repellant w/ at least 30% Deet ** Not sure of the bug situation in December
  • Pepto Bismol (Get individual serving packets) ** Just in case of Bustamante’s Revenge
  • Excedrin Extra Strength (Great for hangovers!)
  • Wet-Ones Travel Pack ** I put them in the freezer, great for wiping your sweaty face! Don’t knock it till ya try it! An old Restaurant Manager’s trick
  • Condoms ** I got several comments about this last time. Like how many to bring. Maybe I should bring like, 300 assorted condoms in my carry-on bag as if to dare the TSA guy to comment. I’d probably have to put them in a clear ziplock bag. 


  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Floss ** Again this is just for show, who flosses on vacation?
  • Mouth Wash 
  • Shampoo
  • Disposable Razors ** I always bring 3 I don’t know why
  • Shaving Cream
  • Hair Brush
  • Deodorant ** I’m an Old Spice Man
  • Cologne ** I’m going sans date so I need to make the ladies swoon

Other Stuff

  • Digital Camera ** Smile!! I need to take a lot of pics this trip!
  • AA Batteries – Energizer Max – 8 Pack ** For above Camera
  • Laptop Computer ** I’m not 100% sure about this, I miss the daily walk to Easy Rock
  • DVD’s (Laptop has a DVD Player) ** I watched King Kong on my last trip!
  • Disposable Flashlight (De power go black a lot) 
  • Disposable Rain Ponchos (for those afternoon storms) ** I still have the same 2 ponchos I bought for my October ’04 trip. I feel like a real outdoorsman having them, but I’m sure they won’t be touched, ever.
  • Disposable Lighters ** Ya Mon :) 
  • Cell Phone ** Which I end up using as a clock. I may rent one for this trip, email me for the number
  • Sunglasses ** I bought a great pair this summer, but I can’t find the damn things! They definitely enhanced my coolness
  • Breath Freshening Gum ** Red Stripes and Jerk Chicken aren’t workin’ with the breath!

Mind and Body

  • My Jamaica Journal – It’s a leather bound journal Kristine got me a few years ago that I only use in Jamaica. ** This is Sacrosanct! I just looked though it and I may fill it up this trip. Hey Kris, *Hint!
  • Books ** I have Wild Mind by Natalie Goldberg as a kind of workbook for my writing practice. For fun I have The Sex Lives of Cannibals by J. Maarten Troost.
  • Assorted Meditation Crystals ** These aren’t as weird as they may sound, but trying to explain them to a corrupt Jamaican cop who pulled me out of a gypsy cab looking for drugs was an experience.
  • My Mini Buddha, AKA Travel Buddha ** Ever see those little boxes while you stand in line at Barnes & Noble?
  • Assorted Incense w/ holder
  • Christmas Lights ** I think it will be fun to decorate my room, don’tcha think?

Travel Supplies

  • Passport ** Duh
  • Money - $100 in singles for tipping ** Jamaicans really appreciate the US $1 Bill, though you have to give them out in multiples these days.
  • ATM Card ** Visa Check card works more and more places each trip
  • Travel Wallet
  • Plane Tickets
  • Printed Hotel Reservations
  • Pens (1/2 a dozen, for the customs forms on the plane. I become a hero because no one has a damn pen)
  • Airline headset from previous trips ** I think Air Jamaica has different plugs than US Airways
  • Lonely Planet Guide to Jamaica New ’06 Edition ** I think my dad has this
  • Jamaican Road Map  ** I just like Maps
  • A collapsable duffel bag ** I may do some Christmas Shopping this trip and will need baggage space for the return trip
  • Candy for the Kids – Non-melting, individually packaged, and yummy! ** I always bring a bag, I brought Tootsie Pops last time, but I didn’t give any out. I still think it’s a nice idea. 

Damn, this is a good list! I may be getting this travel week thing down!!


Peace :)


16 Comments December 3, 2006

Bat Day – Mike from Brooklyn

I thought this was hysterical! Hide the kids, crank up the volume!!

Bat Day v.1

Bat Day v.2

Compliments of The Kid From

1 Comment February 25, 2006

The Adventure Cam

What can I say? I’m a gadget freak.

In the effort to make this blog interesting and dynamic, I purchased a little laptop USB camera thingy, it’s really pretty cool.

I’m always writing in different places from a coffee shop in Chelsea, to a park in Philly and all points in-between, so I thought it would be cool to let you all in on my whereabouts.

Today I’m in a second story dining room at a Starbucks on 4th and South Streets in South Philadelphia writing in my notebook and people watching.

Tomorrow I’ll be in Atlantic City, Brooklyn Tuesday, Wilmington Delaware Wednesday, and back in Philly by the weekend.

Next time I’m in Negril of course I’ll be broadcasting from there!!

Any Requests? :)

Leave a Comment November 13, 2005

Hurricaine Survival Checklist

With all this season’s Hurricane hullabaloo, and another threatening Florida’s Gulf Coast, some people have learned from experience and made sure they were prepared. I advise everyone to follow suit according to your own inclinations, but in my humble opinion this guy has it all figured out!

Hurricane Survival Checklist:
Mustard ………………….check
Cheetos …………………………..check
Toilet Paper ……………………..check
Bud Light …………………………check
Keystone Ice …………………….check
Budweiser …………………………check
Red Dog …………………………….check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol ……….check
Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on…check

(Stolen from Patty Pep Freks)

Leave a Comment October 21, 2005

Ode to Waffle House (and a discussion of odes in general)

I was stranded off I-77, one of those lonely crossroads where the interstate crosses a somewhat more prominent county two lane. A very common thing outside the northeast.

I was about two miles out if town, and not much of a town at that, Statesville, North Carolina population 23,846. The only things there were a couple of budget motels, a GMC Truck dealership and a Waffle House.

I love Waffle House, it’s one of my foremost guilty pleasures! Anytime I travel in the south, I have my eyes peeled for that bright yellow sign. It’s the first place heading south from Philly where you can get real, non-instant grits, and where else can you get Steak & Eggs with juice and coffee for a measly six bucks?

MMMMM Steak & Eggs.

Most Waffle Houses (Waffle Housi) have personality, but the one in Statesville was oozing with the stuff. Open 24 hours, there is always at least one customer who knows everyone in the place, and who loudly converses with all of them, often about matters best kept private. There was a sign with a .357 Magnum circled in red with a line through it, I guess it’s the international anti-domestic violence symbol.

Bradford the Manager who was usually the waiter and/or the cook was there every time I came in, and I went there a lot. I wouldn’t call him a happy fellow, but he was polite enough and seemed resigned to his place as the Waffleman, dispensing waffley wonderfulness to his fellow mountain folk.

When I really like a place or a thing, I say to myself, Self, You should write a poem about this place or thing, but not just any poem, no no, an ode. I believe an ode is the best way to show your affection or fascination with any said place or thing.

Problem is I have no idea what an ode is, so I figured I’d do a little research. OK, very little research.

I illegally downloaded a Bobbi Gentry song from my childhood called An Ode to Billy Joe, hey it’s an ode. It goes something like, La la la When Billy Joe McAlister jumped off the Tallahatchie bridge and what a disturbing piece of childhood nostalgia it was!

I looked up The Tallahatchie Bridge on Google and it was none too impressive, but I digress.

Though my ode research was cut short when Billy Joe McAlister and his bridge jumping depressed the shit out of me, but to me an ode should go something like this:

Ode to Waffle House

O’ Waffle House, O’ Waffle House
How I love thee
Faithfully at every crossroads south of DC
Your grease and your charm fill me with glee
As you old lady waitress fill me with grits and coff-ee

When I’m far from home you are a welcomed site
Oh How your big yellow sign brightens the night
O’ Waffle House, O Waffle House
To you this I say
Shine On, Shine On
Lo’ till judgment day

I should be in a straight jacket.


Leave a Comment September 23, 2005

Are Gas Stations Evil?

Since our girl Katrina slammed the Gulf Coast, gas station owners all over the US, and specifically in Southeastern PA and NJ saw an opportunity to gouge us motorists to the tune of about a buck a gallon.

Of course it’s the same gas in the ground, but that doesn’t matter to the Gas Cabal. I paid $3.23 the day after Katrina hit, and we hadn’t even been hit with the rain from the damn storm yet! A few days later it was $3.42 and then $3.49. Appalling!

As the shock of people trudging through putrid water towards helpless help centers began to wear off, us folks in PA/NJ began to freak out a little about the whole gas thing and someone heard us. Imagine that.

Sometime last week an enterprising politician in Union County NJ decided to give summonses to gas station owners citing some “Anti-Gouging” law passed after 9/11. The idea caught on and by Friday gas station owners realized they had to show up in court with receipts and delivery dates to justify their confiscatory rates.

Today I paid $2.99. Hmm, what happened over the weekend? Maybe it was the New Orleans Saints’ upset over the Carolina Panthers that made these people think, “Maybe it wasn’t so bad down there after all.”

Being a registered Libertarian, I usually distain government intervention, but I liked this result.

The only bad thing is $20.00 worth of gas at $2.99 and 9/10ths equals 6.66 gallons.


Leave a Comment September 12, 2005

I’m going to Hell for this!!

But you have to admit it’s funny!!
(Pic stolen from Jonathan)

Leave a Comment September 10, 2005

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