Negril Notes

Why do you always go to Jamaica? Answer #37

July 6, 2005

I could have listened to thier stories all night! Kris and Patrick had been back from Negril for about forty-eight hours, and their Jamaican enlightenment lit up the room. Looking at photos of places I’d been, but with Kristine’s attitude in them and her stories behind them brought me back to my balcony on the cliffs. As much as listening to the words, I absorbed the unmistakable Negril energy flowing from them.

I was so proud! They really got it. They really understood the magic. It got in their bones, they didn’t simply watch it from their porch, they got into it, and thats what it takes! Now at least now there’s another person in the family that can’t answer the big question, why do you always go back to Negril?

The answer is in every story. It’s in the vibe that arises when sharing experiences with friends, and when Kris says she can’t wait to go back, I understand completely. Sadly so many don’t get it, maybe they never will, or they won’t, I don’t know which is worse.

In Jamaica you constantly find yourself asking, “Am I really here?” “Did that just really happen?” So many nights I’ve sat at my journal laughing to myself when comparing the day’s original plan with what actually happened. The well laid plan is so far from where the Jamaican party gods had actually taken me, and it is nowhere near the rich full life experience I’d experienced that day. It’s just a scrawny agenda, and it looks as if it was written by another person entirely. I guess in some ways it was.

I ask myself, “Was I really there this morning?” “Was this really the day’s starting point?” Bless Jah! How does one take an idea, form it into words and expect it to fill a day in a life? In the real world we do it everyday, and we never question it. Our lives can be so well lived, if we just let go of convention and fucking live it! Maybe that’s a partial answer to the big question.

Why Jamaica! You can really live there, no rent, no bills, no stress, no job, no clients, no deadlines, just life, just living, just feeling the vibe coming over you, and having the freedom and the audacity to ride it. That’s my Negril, my spot in space and time where I live totally. Where I choose live how I’m unable, afraid or unwilling to live everyday life. Everyday life where all those things listed above have such a hold, and became so real. Even more real than our true selves, and the worst part is we know it, we see it happening, and we feel powerless to change it. “The Rat Race”, “Life’s Rollercoaster”, “The Human Jungle”, choose your metaphor.

I guess that’s why its called vacation, maybe we can only handle the wide open, unencumbered life in small doses.

I dose again in August.

Filed under: Family, Negril